Enchanted pen

                                                 DEAR DIARY………EPISODE 12

Dear Diary,

Hey there diary, how are you? I know that you can’t speak to me but I’m in an utterly joyful mode. I know that you haven’t heard that word in a long time from me but here I am. It’s been a long time and if you feel that I only use you, your feelings are valid. But I just wanna say that you have been one of my best best friends and there is no one who can understand my feelings better than you, you’re a pretty great listener and I’m grateful that I have you.  You must think I have become bonkers because I do not talk like this usually but since I had promised you that I will only return with the gossip or a story that is worthwhile of your time so here I am exactly after a year to share something oh that is just something that you will never expect. 

I had left you where I was telling you how boring and useless my schedule has become. My work was in progress, no friends, I was all alone and I had picked up a cooking hobby so basically sitting at home doing anything but going out. Can you believe that I did not go out much for a year once in two months maybe but still that was a lot. I did not expect that my schedule would make me a boring and depressed person, which obviously is something I did not want and I did not know, right? So there were a lot of suitors for me on the way and some of them met my parents too and there were guys from everywhere like pune, ahmedabad, USA, Jaipur, Jodhpur and so on. Some of the guys were so nice and only one or two gave me the feeling like maybe they will be it. 

To catch you up let me tell you that me and Daksh haven’t spoken in a long time, Arnav has been crazy busy and well my girl bestie has no time for me. But the big news is that I discovered something about Arnav, he had indirectly told me that he has feelings for me and he had always done everything for me and the interesting part is that my sister always told me that I don’t understand how you guys are only just best friends? And that we make such a good couple but I always replied with: “You know what sis, it’s very weird that you think that way because you know what we are is only understood by us, we’re fine they way we are and I don’t ever want to lose a 12 year old friendship just for something that can ruin everything.” She never understood that and when Arnav was always doing quirky and sweet things to impress me I would just tell him that I don’t have the guts to do this and besides I cannot be like that with you because I never thought about you that way. He would always accept it but there was still something our friendship crossed a line for which I cannot give a name. It was a strange feeling.

What had happened with Arnav was something that will always stick to my mind but for now I had more important things to think about. So there was this one guy from Pune who had shifted to Chennai because he was working with one of the relatives, and oh just FYI this was at the start of the year and I’m telling this to you on April 4 2022. Anyways he was a businessman, good work, good pay, great qualities is what I got from the bio data and there was a churning in my stomach telling me if I’m sure that I would want this in my life and if there is anything to think about. The only flaw I thought of was he was about 2 and a half years older than me and I was like if your partner is elder than you he could have the capability to lecture you or even babysit you at one particular point, But I let that go and told my father to do whatever he was comfortable with. After a few days the whole family was seated in the living room and I for one was asked to come downstairs and my mind goes: “Here’s the verdict of the Pune guy, all the best Shanaya because if he’s happy your life won’t be the same again.” I went downstairs and greeted everyone and since papa couldn’t hold his horses he said: “ So, I met the Pune guy, he is smart, sophisticated, kind of tall for you but he’s extremely mannered, has a good sense for business and I think you both will make a great match.” I looked at my sister in pure astonishment, not sure of what to do but then I gathered my breath together and asked him: “ So, what’s the next step?” and he replies: “Well, your mother and I had planned 2 months ago to go to Pune to visit a temple and maybe we will meet the family.” Oh, I had so many mixed feelings that I replied “cool” and went off for a cup of coffee. 

I know that you get my feelings diary, but you know a girl is never prepared to get away from her home and I was so innately confused with my emotions that my brain stopped reacting and as I was preparing that cup of coffee my sister came up to me and she advised that “Listen Shanaya, don’t you ever take the pressure of what our father is telling, it’s completely your decision and you know in this modern day you can actually use the technology for you benefit at this moment, all I can say is don’t choose a life partner because of the society or parent pressure and before all this I need to know this, you’re sure you don’t want Daksh anymore right?”. I went absolutely blank and all of a sudden and i decided that my sister is right, I should think about it, so I replied: “ya, okay I won’t take pressure and I’ll surely discuss of what I think okay, I just need to be alone now.” After she left and I went upstairs getting ready to sleep I thought I needed a fresh mind to think, so I’ll just sleep now and we’ll see what happens, just like you’ll see what happens, I’ll spill the beans later Diary. But for now, toodeloo!