Enchanted pen

                                            DEAR DIARY………EPISODE 11

Dear Diary,

Hey, you! It’s been a long time since I’ve written to you, almost 2 months and the last I wrote was the time I had my life messed up, but ended up making the right decision. I’m glad I did that because my life has taken a turn after that. Let me catch you up. After taking a few days to process of whatever had happened I remembered the workshop that I had taken and so I made a life work balance cycle by myself and rated it from 1-10 and there was a lot of work to do, so I took a few free classes and read a few articles related to music composing. I started short again and to gain a little perspective I thought about how about I watch a few series and by binge watching them I can get ideas for songwriting, not only that I reacquainted with books too and I am enjoying what I’m doing right now. A few days later I developed a habit of getting up early and started meditation along with yoga and I think you and I both agree I had to tighten the screws of my brain, they were kind of falling apart. 

While I was fully focused on my career I did not miss chances of going out or just chilling in an aesthetic cafe. I had met Arnav a few days later and poor guy literally swore to not meddle with my dating life again by sitting up the sentence: “Woman I’m done with you, I will not hear this nonsense anymore nor will I give you any advice related to this because we both are different and you can’t do what I can so just leave it at that.” and after that rough conversation we got reacquainted with what we were doing with our lives and how are our families and as usual Mr bitch had some gossip for me for which I would be shocked maybe but the least interested. After getting back home I had worn out and decided to call it a day and just as I was going upstairs to my room my father called me: “Shanaya dear could you please come over here.” and immediately my gut goes oh dear, there is some news to stir some drama into my life, I went in and asked him: “Yes papa, what can I do for you today?” and he replies back with honeyed tones: “We found a guy for you.”

I had to pretend to smile and ask about all the details, although he was a stand up guy I mean he lived in the north side and northern part of India has so many benefits like people are open minded, people don’t meddle in your business, everyone is pretty chill and the places are beautiful. Believe me that’s every Indian girl’s dream. But in my mind I was like I’m not ready enough and so I asked my parents straight away if they think I’m ready to get married, I mean I am just 21. Both of them reassured me, saying it’s not necessary that this guy will be the perfect match, or that we’ll be instantly compatible, or that our families will sync perfectly. They emphasised that it’s a process, and we will take it step by step, evaluating compatibility and understanding before making any decisions.

Okay Shanaya forget about marriage shit and focus on what you want to do. You don’t need no guy trouble after all you’ve been through, right? So just focus and you know what,  enjoy because this is your time. I had applied for a few jobs where I lived and obviously there were low scopes because it’s an industrial city so not many creative jobs will get around here so let’s just hope for the best. I had forgotten all about all the exes or flings I had and was just focusing on getting my career back on track so my life was all wake up, workout, read, watch, try to write, eat and repeat. 

To be honest it got pretty boring after some time, I mean I was enjoying doing my work but aside from that I had no friends so I decided to start cooking and in a way it soothed me. Sooner or later I had to learn this too, I mean it’s a life skill and turns out I am good at it, so everyday there was something new to cook and my family loved it, except for my father or as I like to call him pops, he was always stuck on traditional Indian food. I did go out with my sister and brother – in- law but well third wheeling is fun but I just wish I had someone who would just mingle with me enough, Arnav was always busy because he shifted and my girl best friend is in college so I couldn’t disturb her. Well I guess being an introvert doesn’t help much because then you don’t know how to approach people and the constant topic in my house were the alliances coming in for me, I mean they kept getting rejected or it just didn’t happen for some reason and I just don’t know where this track is taking me. As they say, having patience gives the sweetest fruit and I’ll wait for my life to unravel it for me. I’ll get back to you with some spicy gossip next time, but for now toodeloo!