Enchanted pen

                                                          DEAR DIARY ………EPISODE 8

Dear Diary, 

You know what you see in movies is never the truth. When actors get to play the field or date 2 people at once, they show it like their life is so happening and like they’re the stud or the life of other single people. You know what I say…. ‘Screw, em’. That is the world’s worst lie to give in reel life, but in real life there are consequences that make you feel toxic, that make you feel like you don’t know yourself anymore. It’s the truth diary. I’m screwed. At first I was scared but a little later I started enjoying it and thinking that maybe it isn’t so bad after all but then you know when suddenly your life tries to give you a reality check, hmm.. That one post hit it.

I called Arnav immediately to scream at him and just like to tell all the cuss words that ever exist. He asks me: “Why are you screaming, it’s not like it’s a big deal, you’re not committed to anyone and you can tell that it’s valid to see other people” At that moment I felt like ripping off his tiny little head which had no brains. I asked him “How can you possibly play with two people’s feeling and tell them like it’s not a big deal Arnav, are you out of your fucking mind?” It hit me that time that my bestie is a feelingless bastard and that led to my overthinking, thinking that what if I actually got influenced by his words and left Daksh? But I came back to the present and he calmly tried to explain to myself that ‘Listen missy, this is the dating world, you don’t see what’s gonna stay forever in every guy, you look out for fun.’ and I more frustratedly replied to him that ‘Oh! So now you’re telling me that this is just fling stuff, I mean you shouldn’t call that dating, you don’t date people if you don’t want to be serious, what is wrong with you guys these days, god I wish I never listened to you.’ just after a few seconds he replies that ‘ I don’t know what world you live in but this is the 21st century and this is what we call dating.’

I gotta tell you diary, I know Arnav is my best friend and all but this is freaking absurd. I mean he is always such a gentleman, how can he be such a dingus. I mean who talks like that and you know he has guts in him for telling this OMG. I can’t believe people can be so cruel and hell I’m one of them. my life is ruined and just whatever happened to guys who were actually attracted to everything about a person rather than their bodies. Like whatever happened to hello, let’s go out on a date, get to know each other, what are your hobbies. Right now it’s like swiping left or right, like my body, give me a call. To hell with these people, it’s ridiculous, I’m a person who is not this toxic so obviously I won’t do it anymore but let me just tell you what happened.

After Arnav had made me join a dating app and it got me 2 matches, I was fascinated by the kind of guys that are interested in me. Both of them were smart, hot and you know common interests and since I was confused and Arnav asked me to meet them both I went on a dinner date with the 1st guy the next day and a lunch date with the 2nd guy after meeting the first one. The first guy was so sweet, he had these brown hazel eyes, wich shined bright in the sun, chiselled jaw, a little curly but straight black hair defining his sweet cheeks, and a dimple in the side, god was I flattered by that, deep manly voice and great personality. We had a pretty great time and since we shared some same food choices I was more happy because well being a foodie that’s all I needed. Apart from that I could sense he was a little sensitive too and not like all manly and hypocritical which was a good thing. The next day I met the second guy. He had a height of about 5 ‘6, thick dark brown hair which defined his sharp jawline, pink lips, that perfect white smile, mixed colour eyes of blue and black, oh just a movie star personality. Just by his looks I was like ugh do I need to think about both of them. But the reality hit and I was like I would never judge just by looks and you know just by looks doesn’t give you know your better half vibes. He greeted me with flowers, we got to talking and by his body I could tell he was a fitness freak and turns out I was right. I ordered my regular good food and he ordered a salad. I was like one flaw is fine. We got to talking and we had a lot of common interests of travelling, music and books. The guy was like fine wine and I guess he didn’t talk much about his emotional side and was a business guy so yeah that went pretty great too. 

You know, there is no issue in both of them but things got complicated when both of them were asking me out on dates on the same day. Later after that I found out that they have a common friend who is friends with both of them. I freaked out because you know the friendship should be good. After sometime I messaged the first one and told him now is not a good time and same for the second one too. I chatted and talked to them on calls and messages and it was time where you know they wanted to have some intimate time and I for one was tangled up in the tornado of mixed feelings and then I did a stupid thing like asking both of them what they thought about me. Diary, you wouldn’t believe both their replies. “I think you could be my girlfriend.” Suddenly people who wanted just casuals on dating sites wanted me to be their girlfriend and as if that traumatisation wasn’t enough my mother said they’re gonna see someone for me. I mean obviously, I Think god is punishing me for something and then I called and fought with Arnav. I feel my life was so simple and happy when I was with you know… you know. Ugh! Sorry diary, but I gotta go, toodles!